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TO LIVE, Chapter I (5)

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发表于 2022-3-11 03:14:15 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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TO LIVE Chapter I (5)
When I was young, I ate, drank, whored and gambled—I took part in every disreputable thing there was. The House of Qing was the whorehouse I used to go to. There was a fat prostitute there who really won my affection. When she walked, her fat butt was just like the two lanterns that hung outside, shaking from side to side. When she lay in bed she would wobble around. When I was pressed on top of her it felt like being asleep on a boat, rocking back and forth as I floated down a river. I would often have her carry me piggyback to go shopping—riding on her back was just like riding on the back of a horse.
Mr. Chen, my father-in-law, who was the owner of the rice store, always stood behind the counter wearing a black silk shirt. Whenever we were passing by his shop, I would pull that prostitute's hair to tell her to stop. Then I would take off my hat and pay my respects to my father-in-law. "How have you been feeling lately?"
As I asked, my father-in-law's face would look like a preserved egg. Me, I'd just giggle and continue on my way. Later my dad told me that on a few occasions my father-in-law was so angry with me it made him physically sick.
"Give me a break," I told my dad. "You're my father, and my behavior's never even made you sick. Just because he's got health problems, what right does he have to blame me?"
Mr. Chen was afraid of me, and I knew it. When I passed his shop riding on that whore's back, my father-in-law would be startled into retreat—like a rat scurrying back into his little hole.
He didn't want to see me, but as a son-in-law passing a father-inlaw's store, you should always have some manners. So I would call out, wishing my father-in-law well as he scurried away.
The wildest time was just after the Japanese surrender, when the Nationalist troops entered the city to recover their lost territory. That was truly an exciting day—both sides of the city streets were flooded with people holding small colored flags.
Nationalist flags of a white sun against a blue sky jutted out at a slant from all the shops. My father-in-law even had a portrait of Chiang Kai-shek as large as two doors hanging before his store; the three hired hands at the rice shop stood under Chiang's right-hand pocket.
I spent that whole night gambling at the House of Qing. I felt muddleheaded, as if a heavy bag of rice had been placed on my shoulders. It had been over half a month since I'd been home, and my clothes reeked of a sour stench. I dragged that fat prostitute out of bed and had her carry me home. I also hired a rickshaw coolie to follow us so he could take the prostitute back to the House of Qing once I got home.
As the prostitute carried me toward the city gate she wouldn't stop yapping, blabbering on about how not even the god of thunder strikes people while they are asleep, and yet just as she had gotten to sleep I had the nerve to wake her up. She kept complaining about how coldhearted I was. I slipped a silver coin down her shirt and that shut her up. As we got close to the city gate I saw crowds on either side of the road, and my spirit suddenly soared.
My father-in-law was the head of the city's chamber of commerce. From far away I saw him standing in the center of the street, yelling, "Everybody get ready. Stand up straight, and as soon as the Nationalist army arrives everybody must clap and cheer."
Someone noticed me and jokingly yelled, "They're coming! They're coming!"
My father-in-law thought the army had arrived and scuttled off to one side. My legs were wrapped around that whore as if I were riding a horse. I said to her, "Run! Run!"
With crowds bawling with laughter on both sides of the street, the prostitute, huffing and puffing, went into a light jog.
"At night you screw me and during the day you ride me!" She cursed me as we went. "You coldhearted bastard! You're going to be the death of me!"
Over and over, I grinned and nodded in respect to the swarms of people roaring with laughter. When we came before my father-in-law I pulled the prostitute's hair. "Stop! Stop!"
"Ow!" the prostitute yelped as she came to a halt.
In a blaring voice I said to my father-in-law, "My esteemed father-in-law, your son-in-law wishes you a good morning."
That time I really did a good job of making my father-in-law lose face. At the time he just stood there stupefied, his lips trembling. After what seemed like an eternity he finally said in a hoarse voice, "My dear ancestors! Get out of here."
The voice that emerged from his lips didn't seem like it belonged to him.

我年轻时吃喝嫖赌,什么浪荡的事都干过。我常去的那家妓院是单名,叫青楼。里面有个胖胖的妓女很招我喜爱,她走路时两片大屁股就像挂在楼前的两只灯笼,晃来晃去。她躺到床上一动一动时,压在上面的我就像睡在船上,在河水里摇呀摇呀。我经常让她背着我去逛街,我骑在她身上像是骑在一匹马上。
  我的丈人,米行的陈老板,穿着黑色的绸衫站在柜台后面。我每次从那里经过时,都要揪住妓女的头发,让她停下,脱帽向丈人致礼:
  “近来无恙?”
  我丈人当时的脸就和松花蛋一样,我呢,嘻嘻笑着过去了。后来我爹说我丈人几次都让我气病了,我对爹说:
  “别哄我啦,你是我爹都没气成病。他自己生病凭什么往我身上推?”
  他怕我,我倒是知道的。我骑在妓女身上经过他的店门时,我丈人身手极快,像只耗子呼地一下窜到里屋去了。他不敢见我,可当女婿的路过丈人店门总该有个礼吧。我就大声嚷嚷着向逃窜的丈人请安。
  最风光的那次是小日本投降后,国军准备进城收复失地。
  那天可真是热闹,城里街道两旁站满了人,手里拿着小彩旗,商店都斜着插出来青天白日旗,我丈人米行前还挂了一幅两扇门板那么大的蒋介石像,米行的三个伙计都站在蒋介石左边的口袋下。
  那天我在青楼里赌了一夜,脑袋昏昏沉沉像是肩膀上扛了一袋米,我想着自己有半个来月没回家了,身上的衣服一股酸臭味,我就把那个胖大妓女从床上拖起来,让她背着我回家,叫了抬轿子跟在后面,我到了家好让她坐轿子回青楼。
  那妓女嘟嘟哝哝背着我往城门走,说什么雷公不打睡觉人,才睡下就被我叫醒,说我心肠黑。我把一个银元往她胸口灌进去,就把她的嘴堵上了。走近了城门,一看到两旁站了那么多人,我的精神一下子上来了。
  我丈人是城里商会的会长,我很远就看到他站在街道中央喊:
  “都站好了,都站好了,等国军一到,大家都要拍手,都要喊。”
  有人看到了我,就嘻嘻笑着喊:
  “来啦,来啦。”
  我丈人还以为是国军来了,赶紧闪到一旁。我两条腿像是夹马似的夹了夹妓女,对她说:
  “跑呀,跑呀。”
  在两旁人群的哄笑里,妓女呼哧呼哧背着我小跑起来,嘴里骂道:
  “夜里压我,白天骑我,黑心肠的,你是逼我往死里跑。”
  我咧着嘴频频向两旁哄笑的人点头致礼,来到丈人近前,我一把扯住妓女的头发:
  “站住,站住。”
  妓女哎唷叫了一声站住脚,我大声对丈人说:
  “岳父大人,女婿给你请个早安。”
  那次我实实在在地把我丈人的脸丢尽了,我丈人当时傻站在那里,嘴唇一个劲地哆嗦,半晌才沙哑地说一声:
  “祖宗,你快走吧。”
  那声音听上去都不像是他的了。
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