The Translator's Guide to Chinglish 目录

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Part One: Unnecessary Words

I. Unnecessary Nouns and Verbs

Nouns

Verbs

A warning about revision

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

II. Unnecessary Modifiers

1. Redundant modifiers

2. Self-evident modifiers

3. Intensifiers

4. Qualifiers

5. Clichés

The importance of judgment

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

III. Redundant Twins

Recognizing redundancies

Eliminating redundancies

Categories of redundant twins

Proliferation of redundancies

Again, the need for judgment

Redundant twins in native English

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

IV. Saying the Same Thing Twice

Forms of repetition in Chinglish

Dealing with repetition in translations

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

V. Repeated References to the Same Thing

Repeated references that can be dispensedwith

Repeated references that need to beretained

Ways of shortening repeated references

Another reason for avoiding exactrepetition

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

VI. Summing it All Up

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty more exercises

Part Two: Sentence Structure

VII. The Noun Plague

Perils of using abstract nouns

Sentences based on abstract nouns

Combating the plague

A special form of the plague

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

VIII. Pronouns and Antecedents

Correct use of pronouns

1. When antecedents are not explicitlystated

2. When antecedents are ambiguous

3. When antecedents are too remote

4. When pronouns do not agree with theirantecedents

Mistakes made by native speakers of English

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

IX. The Placement of Phrases and Clauses

Correct word order for logic

Word order for proper emphasis

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

X. Dangling Modifiers

1. Dangling participles

2. Dangling gerunds

3. Dangling infinitives

4. Prepositional phrases (not based on verbforms)

5. Individual adjectives

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

XI. Parallel Structure

Difficulties in using parallel structure

1. Elements linked by coordinatingconjunctions

2. Elements linked by correlativeconjunctions

3. Items in a list or a series of headings

4. Elements linked in comparisons

Further refinements

Misleading parallel structure

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

XII. Logical Connectives

Examples of logical connectives

Types of logical connectives

Examples of missing links

Dubious logical connectives

Wrong logical connectives

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty exercises

XIII. Summing it All Up

Twenty more examples of revision

Twenty more exercises

Part Three: Supplementary Examples

Key to Exercises

Selected Bibliography

To the Reader

This book can be used either in theclassroom or for

independent study. It is addressedprimarily to Chinese

translators and to advanced students ofEnglish who are

practicing translation. I hope, however,that it will prove equally

useful to other Chinese who are called uponto write English

and who wish to improve their mastery ofit—people working

in journalism, foreign affairs, business,tourism, advertising, and

many other fields.

Naturally, readers who open this book willhave reached

varying levels of skill in their secondlanguage. But to one

degree or another, the work of all but themost highly trained

and experienced among them will inevitablycontain elements of

Chinglish. Chinglish, of course, is thatmisshapen, hybrid

language that is neither English norChinese but that might be

described as "English with Chinesecharacteristics."

In writing this Guide, I have assumed thatmy Chinese

readers have a basic knowledge of Englishgrammar and that if

they want a review of the subject, they canfind it in other

books. My purpose is rather to showtranslators—and, by

extension, others who are writing directlyin English—how to

recognize elements of Chinglish in a firstdraft and how to

revise it so as to eliminate thoseelements. In other words, this

book is intended to help them turn theirwork into real English

such as might have been written by aneducated native

speaker of the language.

At institutions like Xinhua News Agency,China Daily,

Foreign Languages Press, and the CentralTranslation Bureau,

this task is commonly entrusted to seniortranslators or editors

or to foreign "polishers" (whomay be more or less competent

to perform it). But in principle, much ofthe work could be

done by the original translators—orwriters—themselves. That is

why throughout these pages I have sometimesreferred to the

"translator," sometimes to the"polisher" or "reviser."The terms

are not mutually exclusive: everytranslator rereading a first

draft can and should be his or her ownpolisher.

The examples of Chinglish presented here(the "A-version"

in each case) are authentic. That is,although some of them

have been simplified for instructional purposes,none are

invented. Most were found in drafttranslations that were

corrected before the text appeared inprint. Some were found

in published materials—official documents,China Daily, the

several English-language magazines, and soon. The source of

an example is indicated only when itappeared in a foreign

publication, such as the Far EasternEconomic Review or a

U. S. newspaper.

When an example of Chinglish is taken froma draft

translation, the revision offered here (the"B-version”) is, with

few exceptions, the one decided upon by thepolishers who

revised it. If, however, the A-versionappeared in print, the

revision is one that I think should havebeen made and that I

am suggesting now. In either case, theproposed B-version is

not necessarily the only"correct" one. Translation is not a

science but a craft, and craftsmen in anyfield may have

different opinions as to the best solutionto a given technical

problem.

It may seem presumptuous for a person whoknows little

of the Chinese language to proffer a workof this kind. My

qualifications are that I am a lifelongstudent of English and a

professional translator (from French toEnglish) who has given

much thought to problems of translation. Inaddition, during

the 1980s and 1990s I spent eight yearsworking as a polisher

in Beijing, first at Foreign LanguagesPress and later at the

Central Translation Bureau (Bureau for theCompilation and

Translation of Works of Marx, Engels, Leninand Stalin). During

those years I had the opportunity to workclosely with a wide

range of Chinese translators, frombeginners fresh out of school

to the most capable senior professors. Ilearned much from

them all.

Even with this background, however, I couldnot have

produced this Guide without the help of twoinvaluable

consultants who have kindly read and rereadmy manuscript.

The first is my good friend Jiang Guihua,the retired chief of

the English section at the CentralTranslation Bureau, who has

examined every example with the criticaleye of a skilled

reviser. The second is my husband Larry,who has given me

the benefit of his expertise as a writerand as a professor of

journalism who has had long experience bothteaching and

polishing in China. The criticism andadvice of these two

knowledgeable editors, one native speakerof each language,

have been, quite simply, indispensable.

Joan Pinkham

Amherst, Massachusetts

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Part One: Unnecessary Words
All authorities on the style of English prose agree that good writing is concise. Careful writers say what they mean in as few words as possible.
A classic statement of this precept appears in the famous little book of William Strunk, Jr., and E. B. White, The Elements of Style, Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.
It follows that any words which perform no useful function in the sentence—that is, which add nothing to the meaning—should be edited out.
Almost every text that has been translated into English from Chinese, (or that has been written directly in English by a native speaker of Chinese) contains unnecessary words. Draft translations are commonly full of them, and even polished final versions are seldom free of them.
Read anything that has been published in English for foreign readers—a magazine article, a news story, an advertisement, a government report—and you are likely to find superfluous words. Read even the shortest of English texts—the label on a food product, a billboard on Chang'an, the company name on the front of a building—and, if you are on the alert to recognize them, chances are that you will find words that could and should have been omitted. Unnecessary words are the hallmark of Chinglish.
The late Sol Adler was the most distinguished practitioner of the English language who ever turned his attention to "polishing" in China. One of his most frequent marginal comments on translations of the works of Mao Zedong, Zhou Enlai, Deng Xiaoping, and other leaders was a laconic "Unnec."
"Unnec."words can be any part of speech—nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, articles, and so on. In the following chapters we shall consider the most important types, starting with unnecessary nouns and verbs, which often go hand in hand.
Note: 1 For identification of all works quoted in this Guide, see the Selected Bibliography beginning on page 560.
I. Unnecessary Nouns and Verbs
Nouns
Most unnecessary nouns in Chinglish appear not alone but in short phrases, combined with articles and prepositions. When you eliminate the nouns, you eliminate the articles and prepositions as well.
Many of these nouns are easy to recognize. They are plainly redundant because their sense is already included or implied in some other element of the sentence. Here are a few examples ("A") with suggested revisions ("B") and comments in brackets.
A: to accelerate the pace of economic reform
B: to accelerate economic reform
["To accelerate" = "to increase the pace of."]
A: there have been good harvests in agriculture
B: there have been good harvests
["Harvests" implies agriculture: there are no harvests in industry.]
A: living standards for the people in both urban and rural areas continued to rise
B: living standards in both urban and rural areas continued to rise
[The notion of living standards applies only to people.]
A: these hardships are temporary in nature
B: these hardships are temporary
[Any adjective describes the "nature" or "character" of the noun it modifies. To say that hardships are "temporary in nature" is like saying that the Chinese flag is "red in color" or that pandas are "few in number."]
A: the development of our economy in the future will, to a large extent, depend on...
B: the development of our economy will depend to a large extent on...
[The future tense of the verb ("will depend") is sufficient to express futurity.]
A: we should adopt a series of measures to ensure that...
B: we should adopt measures to ensure that...
[Here the plural form of "measures" covers the sense of a "series."]
Other unnecessary nouns (or gerunds) may be less easy to identify. Nevertheless, a little thought will reveal that they add nothing to the meaning of the sentence. When they are deleted the sense is not diminished, only clarified. Some examples:
A: following the realization of mechanization and electrification of agriculture
B: following the mechanization and electrification of agriculture
A: it is essential to strengthen the building of national defense
B: it is essential to strengthen national defense
A: these constitute important conditions in striving for the fulfillment of the general task in the transitional period
B: these are important conditions for fulfilling the general task in the transition period
A: at that time the situation in northeast China was still one where the enemy was stronger than the people's forces
B: at that time the enemy was still stronger than the people's forces in northeast China
["Situation" is a particularly dangerous noun. Not only is it generally unnecessary, but it drags other unnecessary elements after it (in this instance, "one where").]
A: the key to the solution lies in the curtailment of expenditure
B: the solution is to curtail (or: cut back on) expenditure
["Key" is sometimes useful, but usually it too can be dispensed with. And like "situation," it often leads to further unnecessary complications (here, "lies in").]
A: inner-Party democracy is a subject that has been discussed in detail
B: inner-Party democracy has been discussed in detail
Category nouns
There is one type of noun that deserves special mention, because it is the commonest unnecessary word in Chinglish.
This is the general noun that serves only to introduce a specific noun (or gerund) to follow: "a serious mistake in the work of planning."
In such constructions, the first noun announces the category of the second; in this case, it tells readers that "planning" falls into the category of "work."That is something they already know. Accordingly, the first noun should be deleted: "a serious mistake in planning."
Other examples:
A: promoting the cause of peaceful reunification
B: promoting peaceful reunification
A: reforms in the sphere of the economy
B: reforms in the economy ( or : economic reforms)
A: to ensure a relationship of close cooperation between...
B: to ensure close cooperation between...
A: we must oppose the practice of extravagance
B: we must oppose extravagance
A: these principles apply to all cases of relations between China and other countries
B: these principles apply to relations between China and all other countries
A: this, coupled with the factor of price instability, caused...
B: this, coupled with price instability, caused...
Whatever function the category noun serves in Chinese, in English it is generally useless. All it adds to the sentence is weight without substance.

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Verbs
Like unnecessary nouns, most unnecessary verbs in Chinglish occur in phrases. Usually, they are combined with nouns (plus the inevitable articles and prepositions that nouns bring with them). These phrases are of two principal types:
1. unnecessary verb plus noun
2. unnecessary verb plus unnecessary noun plus third word We shall look at first one and then the other.
1. Unnec. verb + noun
The commonest type is a phrase like "we must make an improvement in our work."Here the verb ("make") is a weak, colorless, all-purpose word having no very specific meaning of its own, while the real action is expressed in the noun ("improvement"). Since the verb is not contributing anything to
the sense, it can be edited out: "we must improve our work."
The basic pattern is unnec. verb + noun. Both translators and polishers tend to overlook constructions of this sort, because they are grammatically correct and because—precisely—everyone is so accustomed to them. Once you become alert to the pattern, however, it is easy enough to eliminate the unnecessary words by substituting plain verbs:
A: it is impossible for us to accomplish the transformation of the whole society overnight
B: it is impossible for us to transform the whole society overnight
A: they should conduct a careful examination of...
B: they should carefully examine...
A: trying to entice the Korean army to launch an attack against them
B: trying to entice the Korean army to attack them
A: to bring about a change in this state of affairs
B: to change this state of affairs
A: they must make up their minds to implement the reform of the current system
B: they must make up their minds to reform the current system
A: until China realizes industrial modernization
B: until China modernizes its industry
The construction may also appear in passive voice. That is, instead of "we must make an improvement in our work," we find "an improvement must be made in our work."But this is only a variation of the same pattern, and the solution is the same too: substitute a plain verb. The result is "our work must
be improved" (because "to make an improvement in" = "to improve").
More examples in passive voice:
A: approval should be given to all these projects B: all these projects should be approved
[Because "to give approval to" ="to approve."]
A: solutions to these problems can be found only through...
B: these problems can be solved only through...
[Because "to find solutions to" ="to solve."]
A: grain rationing was implemented
B: grain was rationed
[Because "to implement rationing" ="to ration."]
The verb most frequently found in these combinations with nouns is to make:
to make an investigation of=to investigate
to make a careful study of=to study carefully
to make a decision to=to decide to
to make a proposal that=to propose that
to make efforts to=to try (
or: attempt) to
to make an analysis of=to analyze
The runner-up is doubtless to have:
to have a dislike for=to dislike
to have trust in=to trust
to have an influence on=to influence
to have adequate knowledge of=to know enough about
to have the need for=to need
to have respect for=to respect
But many others can be seen on every page as well:
to give guidance to=to guide
to provide assistance to=to assist
to carry out the struggle against=to struggle against
to conduct reform of=to reform
to engage in free discussion of=to discuss (it) freely
to achieve success in=to succeed in
to accomplish the modernization of=to modernize
to realize the transformation of=to transform
to bring about an improvement in=to improve
to place stress on=to stress
to exercise control over=to control
to register an increase=to increase
You should be on the watch for all of them.

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2. Unnec. verb+unnec. noun+third word
As we have seen, in the first type of phrase a vague and general verb, incapable of expressing specific action, shifts the responsibility for that task onto a noun. In the second type, however, the noun cannot perform the task either.
Consider "our efforts to reach the goal of modernization."Here the noun ("goal") is no more precise than the verb ("reach"). (Indeed, "the goal of" is only another example of the superfluous category noun. ) This means that the work of the verb has to be done by still another word, a second noun ("modernization"). Since now the first noun is not doing anything useful in the sentence, it too can be eliminated, along with the all-purpose verb. The result is, "our efforts to modernize."
In phrases of this type, the basic pattern unnec. verb+noun has been expanded to unnec. verb+unnec. noun+third word.
As in the example above, the third word is usually another noun (or gerund). Since this new noun is performing the function of a verb, it should be given the form of a verb.
A: our troops used the method of slow advance
B: our troops advanced slowly
A: three garrison divisions were necessary to perform the task of guarding warehouses
B: three garrison divisions were necessary to guard warehouses
A: we adopted the policy of withdrawal
B: we withdrew (or: decided to withdraw)
[This was a particular tactical retreat, not a general military policy.]
A: in all matters we must assume the attitude of admitting what we do and do not know
B: we should always (be ready to) admit what we do and do not know
A: we should adopt the principle of combining solutions to people's immediate difficulties with long-term development
B: we should combine solving people's immediate problems with promoting long-term development
[A further simplification would be: we should try to solve people's immediate problems and at the same time to promote long-term development.]
A: we need to achieve the objective of clarity in ideology
B: we need to be clear in our ideology
But sometimes the third word called upon to do the verb-work is an adjective. Then it is the adjective that should be promoted to the rank of verb, while the idle words are dismissed from service:
A: this measure will have a restrictive effect on the activities of speculators
B: this measure will restrict the activities of speculators
And sometimes the third word is another verb. Again, only the functioning word need be retained:
A: we failed to take care to ensure that there must be an all-round balance between the various planned targets
B: we failed to ensure an all-round balance between the planned targets
["There must be" merely duplicates the sense of "ensure.""Various" adds nothing to the plural "targets."]
Like the category-noun phrases on which they are often based (“to reach the goal of modernization”), these unnec. verb+unnec. noun combinations are only empty preliminaries to other words that carry real content. They add no more to the meaning of the sentence than a cough. The writer is merely clearing his throat before he comes to the point.
Overworked introductory verb phrases Chinglish texts typically contain many of these throat-clearing verb phrases, but there is one group of them which recurs so constantly, especially in official statements, that it merits special attention. As noted below, these particular verb+noun combinations have a few plain-verb equivalents that are sometimes found as well. However, no matter whether the verbs appear combined with nouns or standing independently, they do nothing but delay the advent of the main action:
A: it is especially necessary to make great efforts to assimilate the achievements of other cultures
B: it is especially necessary to assimilate the achievements of other cultures
[What is especially necessary is to assimilate. It is obvious that this process is going to take effort, so we don't have to say so.]
Variants: make every effort to, try our best to, do our utmost to, do everything possible to (also, plain verbs: strive to, endeavor to, work hard to ), etc.
A: all enterprises must pay attention to promoting excellent workers
B: all enterprises must see to it that excellent workers are promoted
[The point is not that the enterprises must "pay attention" to doing something but that they must do it. If they promote workers, they are clearly paying attention to promoting them.]
Variants: pay heed to, lay stress on, attach importance to (also, plain verbs: stress, emphasize), etc.
A: the principal task at present is to do a good job in disseminating and applying the results of scientific and technological research
B: the principal task at present is to disseminate and apply the results of scientific and technological research
[Logically, the task is not to do a good job but to disseminate and apply. It can be taken for granted that people should try to do it well.]
Variants: make a success of, achieve success in, do successful work in (also, verb+adjective: be good at), etc.
In these examples the phrases "make great efforts to", "pay attention to", "do a good job in" are used indiscriminately, without logical necessity. And because they are not needed, they only clutter up the sentence and obscure its point. For that reason alone they should be eliminated.
But there is another reason as well. The expressions in this group have been so weakened by constant repetition that they have lost their power of exhortation. Thus when they are needed—that is, when their sense is really intended—they carry no force. They have degenerated into tedious formulas to which the reader no longer pays any attention.
While overworked introductory verb phrases are characteristic of Chinglish, they can also appear in the speech or writing of any native speaker of English who is not careful about language. For example, my American grandfather-in-law, a carpenter from rural New England, used to say, "I'm going to go to work and build a set of steps" or "I'm going to go to work and shell those peas."
At first I took the phrase to be an expression of the old man's admirable energy and determination. He used it so often, however, that it gradually ceased to impress me in that way.
Then one afternoon when he was preparing to lie down to rest, he declared, "I'm going to go to work and take a nap."With the exception of myself, a newcomer to the family, none of his listeners noticed anything contradictory in the remark. It was clear that for them, as for Grandpa himself, the oft-repeated phrase had long since lost any literal meaning: it was only his habitual way of announcing an intended action.